One Year.

 

April 27th of 2010 was definitely not one of my favorite days. So coming back to an April 27th a year later is still no fun. A lot easier a year later for sure. Since Paul died my life has changed in more ways then just loosing him. Ways that are to get used to, but things I am willing to change to feel closer Paul, and help his children remember him. I like to think that I am doing something that he would be grateful for and proud of. Since April 27th of 2010 I have learned a lot, grown a lot, and missed a lot.

Of course I miss everything about Paul, but off the top of my head I have a few that stick out, or things I am currently remembering about him.

• “What up Yiy Dog” in Paul’s happy to see me voice
• An extremely large Mt. Dew sitting on our table
• The way his “sun” tattoo would get red bulging eyeballs when it was sun burnt
• The ability to text him to have him come help me move a fridge into my parents house. That he practically ended up moving by himself
• The way he wore long socks even with shorts
• The way he would sit when he was at the dinner table
• His “Big Dog” shirts/tanks
• His big heart
• How great of a dad he was
• His green bay hat
• His breakfast burritos

Story time!

The day Kayson was born, my mom and I were hangin with Khera and Paul in the hospital.  Of course we got hungry so my mom and Paul went to Burger King to get food for us. Paul thought he was getting me NORMAL chicken sandwich, but it was far from normal. He brought me back a flame thrower. :) I don’t even remember if I was able to eat it because it was so hot. So funny to Paul, but I remember not laughing to much then as I do when I think of it now.

Dr. Paul

Man how the year went by fast. One of my biggest goals now is to make sure we help the boys remember Paul, carry on traditions Paul did, and try to incorporate some of Paul into how we raise the Dylan and Kayson. Kayson definitely loves his daddy though. He points at the pictures of Paul daily and says “Me dad!”. I’m not necessarily worried they will forget him, I am mostly worried that we wont be able to raise them to be how Paul would want.

Pauly!! I miss you SO MUCH! But I am so very grateful that I have the knowledge that I can see you again. I hope that you are off somewhere with all the loved ones you met in heaven fishing, camping, barbequing, swimming in a lake, and laughing like I know you would be if you were here. It still seems like your not really gone, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. I am leaning toward good, maybe it just means that I can feel you watching over your boys, and your family. :) One year down, and a lifetime to go. Love you!